Monday, July 28, 2014

Sleeping Together

Sometimes I get caught in an internet rabbit hole - clicking on one thing leads to another, and another, and another. When I finally look up, I find out two hours have gone by and it's time to start dinner. Usually that means whatever I was reading or watching was worthwhile and held my interest. Over the weekend, one of those rabbit hole sessions led me to Why We Sleep Together
Our bed covered with the quilt my mom and I made for Mr. G

A fascinating article! It talks about how people (and sometimes animals) sleep together for a variety of reasons, some logical, some not so much (a fear of witches). 

Personally, I share my bed with a kitty or two every night, and occasionally my husband too. During the work week, I sleep during a fairly normal time:  9pm - 5:30am, but Mr. G works overnight, so he sleeps from 8am - 4pm. Which means we don't sleep together at least five nights a week. Sometimes on the weekends we'll have a commitment that requires Mr. G to be awake during the day and we'll head to bed at the same time, but just as often, Mr. G can be found crawling into bed at 4am on a Saturday night.

Honestly, it's not something I miss dearly. When we do go to bed at the same time, it's nice to talk and cuddle before falling asleep. But I also LOVE having the whole bed and both pillows and all the covers to myself on a regular basis. 

How about you?

16 comments:

  1. Well, I fear I'm in the "does not sleep well with others" category. CatMan and I tried it for a while in the beginning of our relationship but it pretty much made us both miserable. I'm a restless sleeper - I toss and turn and usually get up 2-3 times throughout the night to use the bathroom or just because I'm restless. He, on the other hand sleeps straight through unless he gets disturbed, in which case he can't fall back asleep. Suffice it to say, it was kinda disastrous for us.

    Recently, I've even started sleeping without the cats. They miss it terribly, but I sleep infinitely better without them scratching at the covers or wrestling with each other throughout the night. Plus, I don't have to worry about squishing one of them when I roll over (which I do at least a dozen times throughout the night.) I did make an exception near the end of Sputty's life though, because at that point,getting to snuggle with him was worth not sleeping.

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    1. Yeah, sleeping separate makes sense. I feel my body somehow knows when I'm sleeping with others and I'll stay on "my" side more, but I'm a bad person to share with in general because I love to stretch out. I also talk in my sleep, so Mr. G had some pretty absurd conversations with me in the middle of the night before he had this job.

      How did you manage to stop sleeping with your cats? I love sleeping with them (it's rare that they wake me up either), but I imagine it would be torturous process to get them to sleep elsewhere.

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    2. Well, the only way to get the cats not to sleep with me is to keep the bedroom door shut. I generally have to shut it a few hours before I go to bed otherwise Smoky will be asleep on the bed and I don't have the heart to evict him, so that generally means I'm not gonna sleep well.

      If they'd just stay at the foot of the bed it wouldn't be a problem, but sometime in the middle of the night Smoky always decides that he wants under the covers with me... which would be fine if he's just stay there, but he wants under then out, then under, then out... yadda, yadda, yadda. And then Princess gets into the action. She too wants under the covers, but not when Smoky's under there, so they grump with each other about it, and then Princess usually ends up sleeping on my head. OY!

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    3. Yep, totally understandable. Both my cats usually just sleep. Of course as soon as they realize I'm awake, I get head butts and meows! :)

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  2. We are a one-bed, same-ish schedule couple, but it's hard to sync up with another person! One of them might nap half the day and light up the room with their iPad half the night, while the other tries to sleep :)

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    1. That does sound difficult! I think I would have trouble falling asleep if Mr. G was lighting up the room with his iPad.

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  3. The article is interesting! It's true, I feel a bit funny admitting that we have spare beds in our house and sometimes use them. If one or other of us needs a really good night's sleep for work the next day (or is sick, or will be home late) then we do use the spare bed (and feel deliciously decadent for having the option!)

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    1. That's a great luxury! :) Sleeping separate when one of you is sick sounds especially nice.

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  4. My hubby and I share a bed but I usually go to bed later. He's used to going to sleep alone and so when I go at the same time he finds it hard to go to sleep. Likewise, I'm used to climbing into bed with him there so when he stays up on a weekend to watch a movie or tv or when he is away, I have trouble going to sleep alone. It has been so long since I've regularly slept alone but I remember enjoying having the bed to myself. My grandparents slept in the same room but in twin beds since they had different sleeping preferences. I always thought it was an interesting arrangement. Hubby's parents had separate bedrooms for the same reason plus both snored and would wake the other. I say whatever works!

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    1. Isn't it interesting how we get used to certain things? Sleeping with me the whole night (and for several nights in a row) throws my husband off when we go on vacation. I agree, whatever works! :)

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  5. I'll be completely honest and say that although we always have time together each night, we sleep separately! My husband has restless legs and I am an extremely light sleeper. We have an extra bedroom and this just works for us. i've found over the years that a lot of couples we know have trouble sleeping together…some tough it out better than we do, but we like our setup!:)

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    1. I agree! Sleep is so important - it that was me, I'd rather sleep separately than be sleepy/grumpy all day.Glad you found something that works for both of you!

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  6. Oh yay - the cats out of the bag! We to prefer to sleep separate, and both enjoyed two weeks whilst I was in Japan. That being said, we both think it's 'wrong' and therefore limit the number of times we sleep apart. I will move to the other room if his snoring wakes me in the night and I can't return to sleep. I will often sleep in the spare room on a sunday night to be ready for the week. I'll also start in the spare room on days I'm super tired.

    But it feels oh so wrong to admit it (more so for him). I would prefer he came to bed when I did too - but our compromise is cuddles/tuck in. It's a pretty crucial part of our routine every night, and every morning, I lay down with him right before I leave for work - it makes up for the rise and fall together that I saw my parents do.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear about your sleep struggles. That's a tough balance.

      Cuddles/tuck in sounds sweet :)

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  7. I can't see anything wrong with wanting my own bedroom - I'm an adult, why do I have to share? But Mr S sees sleeping separately as something couples shouldn't do - like a sign of being not in love or such thoughts. But we've always had different sleep patterns. I stay up late, he gets up very early. So it has often been like we have our own bed and time to spread out. What I most miss is not being able to read in bed. So I revel in the rare nights Mr S is away.

    Anyway we've sort of come to a separate bed arrangement due to my falling asleep on the lounge.

    I still plan on renovating one of our rooms as my retreat with a bed to escape to when Mr S snores. I'd like one with adjoining rooms. Enter in one room with another coming off that bedroom. A dream reno.

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    1. There are definitely times when I want my own bedroom! (Although it usually has to do with an argument, not sleep ;) ) And I love reading in bed too.

      I find it interesting that several people brought up in the comments that their husbands think sleeping separately has a deeper meaning or is wrong . . I never would've predicted that.

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