Monday, November 24, 2014

Struggling with Infertility

I don't think it's a secret that Mr. G and I would like to expand our family - it's made appearances in both my 2014 goals post and my bucket list post. But I guess the secret is - we've been trying for a while with no luck. 

So Mr. G and I had some tests done and the doctor broke the news to us last week that for us, becoming pregnant naturally is extremely unlikely. We are infertile.

We're devastated. How could there be no kids in our future?

Mr. G's doctor wants us to wait 6 months, then repeat the testing. If the results are poor again, then we'll be referred to another doctor to start talking about IVF (fertility drugs alone won't work in our situation). Unfortunately, IVF is a complex, costly procedure not covered by insurance. We could afford one round (about $12,000), but what if it's not successful? Adoption is just as complicated and even more expensive (about $25,000). So many what ifs.

While we haven't given up completely, it feels more like we're in denial than true hopefulness. This sucks.

So we're feeling sad and irritated and jealous and whatever else but we're also trying to plan fun stuff as a couple to remind ourselves that being happy doesn't hinge on having a baby. Being infertile isn't our whole life. We can still take pleasure in good food, traveling, and spending time with our favorite people. If only there was an easy way around the pain . .

22 comments:

  1. Hi Amanda, I am sorry that you and Mr. G are going through this. I find so many women can be judgmental or unthinking when it comes to this issue. I hope you have supportive people to talk with. *Hugs!*

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    1. Thank you so much Dar. Talking to my mom has been very comforting.

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  2. So, so sorry to hear this, Amanda. You have an awesome outlook about it all, and I respect you so much for that (but also for your ability to admit that it DOES suck!). Sending you warm thoughts and hoping you and your husband have a good support system. Hugs, as well!!

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    1. Yes, I am a mixed bag of emotions over here. Thank you so much for your kind words, Meg.

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  3. Oh, Amanda...I am so very sorry to read this post. What a shock and what a lot to get your heads around. It sounds like a long road ahead with many decisions along the way. I have to second Meg's comment - much respect for your approach to such difficult news. Sometimes life seems to be very unfair. Thinking of you and yes, sending more hugs!

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    1. Oh, thank you Fiona. This is so, so hard for me. For us. I don't think it's fully sunk into my brain yet.

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  4. Hi Amanda -
    I'm so sad to hear this news. Sending you good thoughts. xoxo. meghan

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    1. Thank you so much Meghan. I appreciate all the good stuff coming my way.

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  5. Amanda! I can't begin to imagine the pain and confusion you're suffering right now. Thinking of you

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    1. Thank you for the kind words, Sarah. I really appreciate it.

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  6. It's sad to hear this news, it's so brave that you share it. Keep being optimistic and don't give up! Hugs and support, A.

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    1. Thank you A. We're definitely trying to think happy thoughts.

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  7. I'm sorry that you're going through such a difficult time. I wish I had sage words of advice, but all I can say is that you don't have to figure it all out right here and now - you have options and you have time - and you never know what the universe may have in store. It could be something completely different from what you had planned, but that doesn't mean it can't be perfectly wonderful in its own right.

    Sending You Big Hugs,
    Cat

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    1. Very true. I find myself focusing on how much time we've already spent trying, rather than looking forward at all the time we still have. Thank you for the kind words Cat.

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  8. I'm sorry that you're both going through this Amanda and wish you the very best x

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    1. Thank you Laura. I really appreciate your kindness.

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  9. Oh Amanda :( I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. Sending a million positive vibes your way!

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    1. Thanks Kristy. I'm grateful for all the positive vibes

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  10. Amanda, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm thinking of you guys, but I know you will be okay.

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    1. Thank you Liz. It's kinda nice we found out at a busy time of year because it helps to be distracted.

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  11. Amanda, how painful for you and Mr G. My heart goes out to you both! There's just no rhyme or reason how these things pan out. I am so sorry for you.

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    1. Thank you, Lucinda. I appreciate your kindness.

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